Really busy. Can't talk now. Pasting email from The Infamous Mike. If you enjoy this, you're sick. Very sick. But you're not alone. See you at the next meeting.

Oh boy is "not work safe" an understatement. Sick sick funny sick shit.

This is a forwarded message:
===8<===Original message text====

Not work safe. My apologies if you've seen this already.

Apparently, Macromedia asked South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker to make two short animated flash films for them. Although the creators had warned Shockwave that they would deliver a cartoon with no holds barred, Shockwave insisted on having them make it. "Princess" was the result. See why Shockwave never aired them . . .

http://www.atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_01.swf
http://www.atypical.net/mm/princess/Princess-Episode_02.swf

===8<===End of original message text====

Congratulations to Honey of Raw Honey (not suitable for kids) for being about my 10,000^th visitor. More or less. Since I started counting in late December. Ok, so it's a pretty meaningless statistic. Gives me a chance to give a link to her site, though.

Has anyone else noticed something a little strange about The Bourne Supremacy trailers? Perhaps my mind just resides a little closer to the gutter than most, but when I hear them they're just a string of thinly veiled innuendos.

Here are the quotes from just one trailer. Switch your brain to porn-mode when you read them and see if you agree.

• "Jason Bourne just popped up in Naples."
• "I'm going to take him down!"
• "He's doing exactly what he said he'd do; he's coming for us."
• "You're gonna play ball, one way or the other!"
• "If I so much as feel someone behind me…"
• "How long you got?"
• "…little hard to find…"
• "We're blown!"
• "They're coming for you now!"

Not that this is a bad thing. I'm all for movies that put my mind into porn-mode. I'm just saying.

I'd forgotten how much work moving was. The number of details you have to remember is horrendous… and I have it pretty easy. With my company paying moving expenses, I get to do things like hiring movers and cleaners without dealing with the cost.

I had a junk removal service take away fully half of what I own. However, after cleaning and packing some of the remaining items, I'm sure I now have more stuff than I started with. I don't have proof, but I'm convinced this crap breeds.

I pity folks with kids trying to move. All my junk times 50, no doubt. And a wife telling you that you can't throw that out because her friend from highschool gave it to her at her wedding shower… And she absolutely must keep all her stuffed toys because they're memories from her childhood.

I got a rental place where I'm moving, so that's a load off. I have a convenient place to stay while I look for a new house. Oh, well. I'm off to steam clean my rug now.

I'm a big fan of The Straight Dope. It always has some great stuff. Today's entry was wild. I certainly never knew this!

This post is a little bit out of character for this blog. Fear Factor fans probably want these "African Cave-Dwelling Spider" pictures. For some reason, they're hard to find... but I've got them! I just took photos of the television, but they're better than nothing.

This seems to be a pretty popular Google search, too. If you're just stopping by from Google, I hope you'll take a moment to look around at the rest of my blog. There is a "Highlights" link in the right margin that lists some of my favourite entries.

I think it's time for another quick list. It's late and I have to get up tomorrow at the crack of noon. I realized recently that there have been some new shows on T.V. that aren't been discussed around the watercooler. This makes me think that I'm the only one watching them. That's bad, because they're good.

• Home Movies - This is an adult cartoon about three kids that fancy themselves movie stars. When they're not making movies, they're trying to make sense of the adults in their lives.
  
  
• Comedy, Inc. - Live sketch comedy. The characters spend much of their time trying to crack each other up with ad-libs. Another plus is that it's Canadian, on past 10PM, and has a language warning. That means they can say motherfucker without getting in shit. So they do. When Canadian T.V. warns you about the language, they're not kidding. It's carte blanche.
  
  
• Tripping the Rift - Another adult cartoon. This one has a starship captain named Chode racing through the galaxy being chased by his nemesis; a Darth Vader-like clown. You absolutely must download the short that started it all. A link is available at the top of the Rift home page if you want to see the first real episode, as well.
  
  
• Myth Busters - This one has two guys trying to scientifically prove or disprove urban legends and myths. To give you an idea, in one show they sealed a dead pig inside a car for a couple of months to see if they could make it smell so bad it couldn't be cleaned and sold. Then they made a giant pair of buttocks out of ballistic gel to see if someone could get stuck on an airline toilet by the vacuum. They closed by converting a nail gun to fire pennies at 200 mph to see if dropping a penny from the top of the Empire State Building would be dangerous.

Well, the news is out. I don't suppose it really surprised anyone. Batman and Robin have finally come out of the closet and have changed their name to celebrate the event. Expect to see Buttman and Rubbing sliding down a pole near you.

What was really surprising, however, was the flood of support they got from the other super heroes. Many used this as an opportunity to reveal their own alternate lifestyles.

Sthuperman opened up his fortress for the gala event. The Queen Hornet and Gayto were the first couple to arrive. They were followed quickly by Dr. Octopoof. The X-X Men weren't far behind, with Dykelops sporting his new rhinestone shades.

Gotta-Wonder Woman revealed an earlier surgery, as did the "Trans" Formers.

Nightwang arrived in a rainbow-striped limo driven by The Diddler, but they say they're "just friends". The Flower Rangers said they'd heard that there was a lot more to the relationship than they were letting on.

Dr. Bruce Boner stole the evening when someone got him horny and he turned into the giant, pink, and muscular Insatiable Hulk.

Considering the success of the evening, and the fact that it brought enemy and hero together, we can't believe this is the last we'll hear from the League of Super Heroes.

The zoo was great. The Calgary Zoo is pretty impressive, and they've added some new exhibits since I was there last time.

Well, aside from that massive downpour that went on for two hours.

As soon as the rain started everyone ran and bought those disposable rain coat things. You know the ones I mean. They're just white garbage bags with hoods.

• It looked like a Casper the Disposable Ghost convention.
• It looked like Trojan was holding mascot auditions.
• It looked like the KKK was dressed for a spaghetti eating contest.
• It looked like Depends was giving away high capacity underwear.
• It looked like the highschool kids finally figured out a worse style.
• It looked like there was an explosion at a marshmallow factory.
• It looked like aliens were vacuum packing snacks for a long trip.
• It looked like Michael Jackson had his kids out for the weekend.

So, have you seen this guy on Jeopardy yet? His name is Ken Jennings. What makes him so special? Well… recently Jeopardy changed their rules so that you keep playing until you lose. He's the first guy to take any real advantage of the new rule.

What kind of advantage? Well, only that he has won about 28 times in a row so far, and won over $825,000.

He's incredible to watch. As you can probably figure out, he pretty much just knows it all and has instant access to it. Combine that with a really good button-clicking thumb.

Even if you don't watch Jeopardy, I recommend you watch it once just to see this guy work his magic.

As I feared; things are getting crazy and my blog is falling by the wayside a bit. My niece is in town, so I'm taking a break from my relocation stuff so I can have a little fun.

We went to Calaway Park today, which is a permanent amusement park 20 minutes from Calgary. Great value for money, though. There's a small roller-coaster with a loop, log flume, and most of the standard spin-till-you-barf-snowcone-juice-through-your-nose rides.

They've also got a bunch of those $2/try-and-win-a-prize booths. My brother-in-law came away the hero in that area. On that unwinnable "knock the blocks of the pedestal with the baseballs" game, he won twice with one set of three baseballs. We ended up walking around with a huge stuffed pig and a huge stuffed cow. Unbelievable. My niece also won a seemingly impossible golfing game (putt three balls so your score is 13 or 14) and won a huge stuffed monkey. We cleaned up.

Off to the zoo tomorrow. I haven't been to the Calgary Zoo for ages, but it's a good one. I'm looking forward to it.